Never Again Give an Elevator Speech

“It’s not about you. It never was.” – Diane Keaton

Do you know anyone who likes listening to a speech? Me neither.

know anyone who likes listening to a speech

Speeches are lectures. Who wants to be lectured?

That’s why, from now on when someone asks, “What do you do?” never again TELL them.  What?! Here’s an example to show what I mean.

Years ago, I was on a speaking tour with my sons. We had a night free in Denver, so we went downstairs to ask the concierge, “What do you suggest?”

He took one look at Tom and Andrew and said, “You’ve got to go to D & B’s.”

We were from Maui at the time and had no idea what he was talking about. We asked, “What’s that?”

He must have known that trying to explain it would only confuse us. Instead, he asked a qualifying question, “Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese?”

My sons nodded enthusiastically.

He smiled and said, “D & B’s is like a Chuck E. Cheese … for adults.”

Bingo. Ten seconds and we knew exactly what it was and wanted to go there. They should have put him on commission.

Why did that work so well? He turned a one-way elevator speech into a two-way elevator connection.  Here’s an example of how you can do the same.

A man approached me before a presentation and said, “I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told many people. I’m an introvert. I go to conferences all the time, but then I hide out in my hotel room because I hate networking.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m uncomfortable with small talk. Plus, I work in tech. I can never explain what I do in a way people can understand it. It’s so awkward, I rather just avoid it.”

I asked, “Want a way to introduce yourself that isn’t confusing or awkward, and that can actually lead to a meaningful conversation?”

He came back with, “Is that a rhetorical question?”

I asked, “Don’t tell to explain what you do. That’s like trying to explain electricity.  Instead, describe the real-world results of what you do that we can see, smell, taste and touch.”

He thought about it for a moment and said something about credit cards, online retailers, financial software and computers. The light bulb went off in my mind. “Do you make the software that makes it safe for us to buy stuff online?”

He lit up. “Yes! That’s exactly what I do.”

“That’s good … but don’t tell people that.”

He looked at me, puzzled. “Why not?”

“Because if you explain, ‘I make the software that makes it safe for you to buy things online, they’ll go, ‘Oh,’ and that’ll be the end of the conversation.

You don’t want to end the conversation; you want to open a conversation.”

“So what do I do instead?”

“Ask a three-part question that gives people an opportunity to share how they – or someone they know – may have experienced what you do.”

“What’s this about a three part question?”

“If you ask, ‘Have YOU ever bought anything online,’ and they say ‘No,’ you just ran into a conversation cul de sac.

If you ask, ‘Have you, a friend or a family member ever bought anything online … like on eBay, Travelocity or Amazon?’ you just increased the odds they’ve benefitted from what you do or know someone who has.

They may say, ‘Well, I never shop online. But my wife’s on Amazon all the time. She loves the free shipping.’

Now, link what you do to what they just said, ‘Well, our company makes the software that makes it safe for your wife to buy things on Amazon.’

‘OOHH,’ they’ll probably say.  Believe me, an intrigued ‘OOOHH’ is a lot better than a confused ‘Huh?!’ or a disinterested ‘oh.’

Their eyes will probably light up and their eyebrows will probably go up. They now relate to you and are more likely to remember you. Furthermore, you now have a mutually-relevant hook on which to hang a conversation which means you’re both more likely to want to continue the conversation.

All this in 60 seconds and all because you stopped TELLING people what you do and started ASKING how they may have experienced what you do.”

He actually got a little misty-eyed. I asked him, “What’s going on?”

He told me, “I can’t wait to get home after this conference.”

“Why?”

” I can finally get across to my eight year old son what I do in a way he understands it.”

Elevator Speech

That’s the power of turning an elevator speech into an elevator connection.

How about you?  What do you say when asked, “What do you do?” What do your co-workers say?  Do your responses cause confusion or create connections?

You might want to turn your next staff meeting into a brainstorming session where everyone crafts two-way introductions that genuinely engage people in mutually-relevant conversations that are a win for all involved.

By the way, this is just one of 25 ways to create more mutually-meaningful communications featured in my latest book – Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? Discover for yourself why it’s been endorsed by Dan Pink, Miki Agrawal, Terry Jones (founder of Travelocity), Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone) and Marshall Goldsmith who says it’s a “must for every leader.”

Want your employees and association members to actually enjoy networking at your next event and create more relevant, meaningful conversations? Contact Cheri@IntrigueAgency.com to arrange for Sam to deliver her fun, inspiring, interactive keynote that gets everyone interacting and genuinely connecting in the room and in the halls.

Highlights from White House United State of Women Summit

What a joy it was being immersed in a sea of 5000 women at The White House The United State of Women Summit.

Everywhere you looked, there were women swapping cards, sharing resources and recommendations, and discussing how their startup, company or cause is educating and elevating women.

What I loved most was how the vast majority of speakers role-modeled the essence of entrepreneurialism. They saw a problem, opportunity or need and thought, “Somebody should DO something about this.”

Then they realized, “I’m as much a somebody as anybody, I’ll do something about it.”

Mikaila-Ulmer-e-la-sua-limonata

For example, 11-year-old (you got that right) 11-year-old Mikaila Ulmer was stung twice by bees in the same week when she was 4.

She said, ‘First I got angry, then I got curious.” (What a wonderful sequence of responses).

She decided to do some research and discovered the important role bees play in our ecosystem but they’re endangered, so (like you do) she created her own BeeSweet Lemonade line that is now at Whole Foods.

Perhaps you saw Mikaila on Shark Tank when she rocked the judges and received $60,000 in funding. This young woman captured the attention and respect of everyone in the room as she discussed cash flow, how she donates part of her profits to protect bees, and how her little brother is her #1 sales rep.

And who did they ask to introduce The President of the United States? None other than the uber-confident Mikaila.

Barack Obama was as impressed with Mikaila as everyone else. He started his speech by saying, “When Mikaila was asked backstage if she was nervous about speaking in front of 5000 people, she said, ‘Oh no, I spoke in front of 11,000 people last week.’”

Then, Sophia Bush interviewed 11-year-old Marley Dias about what motivated her to start ‪#‎1000BlackGirlBooks‬.

Marley said, “We all need a hero who looks like us, but I couldn’t find any books that featured young black girls as heroes. I finally discovered ‘Brown Girl Dreaming’ by Jacqueline Woodson. It made such a difference for me, I wanted to give other girls the opportunity to read it.”

Check out this fascinating ‪#‎NPR‬ interview with Marley.

I could go on all day with highlights; however, we’ve all got work to do so here are just a few more.

At the Entrepreneurship Summit co-sponsored by the U.S. Small Business Administration the day before, Amy Millman of Springboard Enterprises coined the sound-bite of the day.

When her panel was asked for best-practices on how to approach investors/venture capitalists to raise funding, Amy said three succinct words … “ADD A ZERO.”

Now that’s how to say a lot in a little.

Instead of taking hundreds (thousands?) of words to explain that many startup founders are too timid and conservative when making their ask, and how important it is for them to “think bigger and be bolder” … she turned what could have been ‪#‎INFObesity‬ into a repeatable, retweetable sound-bite.

I was particular impressed with the White House Chief Technology Officer Megan Smith. She showed a slide of the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals and then promptly gave example after inspiring example of how female makers, hackers, and techies are addressing and solving those issues.

For example, she showed a 10th grader teaching the New Orleans Police Chief how to code, lauded the 11,000 participants from around the world at the Grace Hopper Conference, and championed “Take Your Kids to the Lab Day.”

In conclusion, she quoted Gloria Steinem as saying, “Women have always been part of the past, but they haven’t been part of our history.”

Megan’s on a mission to tell the stories of how women have, and are, playing a crucial role in America’s progress so they get the credit and recognition they deserve.

That theme was picked up by President Obama in his stirring address in which he first poked fun at himself, noting he had “a few more” gray hairs than when he took office, but “This is what a feminist looks like.”

He then launched into his trademark blend of what I call ORASTORY – a combination of crafted rhythmic words delivered in a rising cadence that elicited a ROAR from the room.

He said, “Our country is not just all about the Benjamins—it’s about the Tubmans, too. We need all our young people to know that Clara Barton and Lucretia Mott and Sojourner Truth and Eleanor Roosevelt and Dorothy Height aren’t just names for Women’s History Month, they are authors of our history, architects of our destiny.”

Oprah interviewed First Lady Michelle Obama and it was obvious how much the two of each other enjoy, respect and admire each other.  They were so relaxed and natural with each other, they might as well have been sitting on a couch in their living room “talking story.”

michelle obama and oprah - great picture

When asked her biggest lessons learned, Michelle said, “The importance of protecting my time.” Within the first week of moving into the White House, she was overwhelmed with demands and obligations, and she realized that if she wasn’t clear about her priorities (her daughters being her #1 priority) that she would get swallowed up in the job.

Oprah commented on how “brave” she was and Michelle said, “You don’t have to be brave if you know what your values are.”

Shifting gears …. when asked when he was going to retire, Warren Buffet said, “Why would I? At 85, I tap dance to work because I get to do what I love with people I love. “  (I hope to make it to 85 .. and when I do that’s exactly how I feel about the work I get to do:-)

Along with millions of other women athletes, I will always be grateful to Billie Jean King for her pioneering role in getting Title IX passed.

As I tell my sons, when it was time for me to go to college, there were NO athletic scholarships for women. Now, thanks to Billie and the many other committed women of the Women’s Sports Foundation who fought for equity in sports, there are 30,000 given to women every year.

billie jean king

As to what catalyzed her to tackle this issue, she said, “I had an epiphany when I was 12 years old. My opponent and I were both wearing white clothes, playing with white balls, and everyone around me was white. I thought, “WHERE IS EVERYBODY ELSE?”

Billie decided then and there, (yes at 12 years old), that sports should be equal access, equal opportunity and she was going to use tennis as a platform to make that happen globally. Talk about a visionary whose dedication and perseverance has benefitted millions.

She and Shonda Rhimes (the creative genius behind ABC Thursday night’s blockbusters Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder) were asked: “How do you handle the haters?”

Shonda echoed what everyone else (including First Lady Michelle Obama and Oprah) said, “I ignore them.”

Billie went on to explain, “I learned how important it was to do this from my dad. When I was 14, I lost an important match 6-0 6-0 and it was splashed all over the front page of the sports section.

I was really upset until my dad asked me, ‘When did that happen?’ I looked at him and said, ‘Yesterday.’

‘Exactly,’ he said, which was his way of reminding me that paying attention to something I can’t do anything about is a waste of time.”

There is so much more, for example, Julie Hanna’s (Executive Chair of the Board of KIVA) brilliant insights, “Pity is the enemy of compassion” and “Funding entrepreneurs is the ally of empowerment” and her mission to fund a billion deserving small business owners.

There were more galvanizing insights from this event, however, I need to practice what I teach and not overstay my welcome by going on too long …

…so, I’ll wrap up with Lilly Tomlin’s tongue-in-cheek observation, “Remember, we’re all in this … alone.”

Thanks to inspiring “rising tide raising all hopes” gatherings like these, we don’t have to go it alone; we can go it together.

And when we do, we turn struggles into strength and scale our impact – for good.

P.S.  If you’d like a preview of Sam’s popular keynote on Women’s Leadership, check out this post on “Don’t Like What’s Being Said?  Change the Conversation.”

Write NOW: 26 Inspiring Quotes to Get Your Ideas Out of Your Head

RightNow“One day you’re going to wake up, and there won’t be any time left to do the things you’ve always wanted to do.” – Paulo Coelho

For twenty years, I’ve had the joyful job of helping people get their ideas out of their head and into the world in the shape of books and blogs.

I tell them, “Ideas in your head help no one.”

Have you ever thought of it that way?

If you have EEE – Experiences, Expertise and Epiphanies – that would benefit others; it’s almost selfish to keep them to yourself.

When you think about it that way; writing is a way of contributing.  It’s a way of saying, “Here’s an offering of insights and observations.  I hope they might be of interest and value to you.”

Yet, many people who want to write start out with passion and the best of intentions, and then life intervenes. They get distracted, busy, overwhelmed. They put their books and blogs aside to deal with other priorities … and never get back to them.  And that’s a path to regrets.

Aviation Pioneer Chuck Yeager said, “At the moment of truth, there are either reasons or results.”

Henry Miller said “Life, for most of us, is one long postponement.”

We postpone getting our stories and ideas out of our head. We wait for a perfect tomorrow when we’ve got more energy, free time or discipline.

The fact is though, there will never be a perfect tomorrow. We’ll never have more time than we have right now.

Before he became a bestselling author, John Grisham, (The Last Juror) got up at 5 every morning to write for a couple hours before he went into his law practice.

Jacquelyn Mitchard, (the first Oprah pick with The Deep End of the Ocean) wrote at her kitchen table while her 5 kids were at school Monday-Friday.

Harvard Business professor John Kotter said, “Do you know what the #1 precursor is to change?  A sense of urgency.”

It’s time to feel a sense of urgency about your writing.

What’s the story you were born to tell?  The message you’ve lived to share?  The legacy message you want to pass along?  The time to write it is NOW.

You know what can help?  Keep these sources of inspiration “in sight, in mind,” so no matter how busy, tired or overwhelmed you are … you write a page a day.

That’s all. A page.

Because, if you write a page a day,  in six months, you’ll have a 180 page manuscript. You’ll have a couple dozen blogs.  You’ll have gotten your ideas out of your head and into the world where they can make a positive difference for others and a prosperous living for you.

Sound good?  If so, print out these quotes and put them where you’ll frequently see them – on your refrigerator, by your desk, next to your laptop.

Promise yourself you’ll sit down somewhere, sometime each day and write a page.  You can do that.

And when you get those blogs and books into the hands, heads and hearts of readers; you will experience the tangible satisfaction of knowing you’re adding value, extending your impact, expanding your influence.

Long after you’re gone, your ideas will still be out there. Making someone’s day a little better, a little brighter. Helping people be a more effective leader, parent,  friend, person. Motivating people to look at their world with fresh eyes and renewed appreciation.

You will never regret getting your ideas out of your head and into the world. You will only regret not doing it.

Promise yourself you’ll start today.  Which of these following quotes speaks to you?  How does it inspire you to sit down and write here, write now?

  1. “If you wait for inspiration to write; you’re not a writer, you’re a waiter.” – Dan Poynter
  2. When asked the secret to finishing his 500 page masterpiece The Power of One, author Bryce Courtenay growled, “Bum glue!”
  3. “If my doctor told me I had only 6 months to live, I’d type a little faster.” – Isaac Asimov
  4. “Inspiration usually comes during work, not before it.” – Madeleine L’Engle
  5. “I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at9 amevery morning.” – Peter DeVries
  6. “I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.” – Steve Martin
  7. “I made a startling discovery. Time spent writing = output of work. Amazing.” – Ann Pachett
  8. “Ever tried and failed? No matter. Try again and fail better.” – Samuel Beckett
  9.  “It’s never too late – in fiction or in life – to revise.” – Nancy Thayer
  10. “If you want to write, you can. Fear stops most people from writing, not lack of talent. Who am I? What right have I to speak? Who will listen to me? You are a human being with a unique story to tell. You have every right.” – Richard Rhodes
  11. “The way to resume is to resume. It is the only way. To resume.” – Gertrude Stein
  12. “Best advice on writing I’ve ever received. Finish.” – Peter Mayle
  13. “When I am writing, I am doing the thing I was meant to do.” – Anne Sexton
  14. “You can sit there, tense and worried, freezing the creative energies, or you can start writing something. It doesn’t matter what. In five or ten minutes, the imagination will heat, the tightness will fade, and a certain spirit and rhythm will take over.” – Leonard Bernstein
  15. “I went for years not finishing anything. Because, of course, when you finish something you can be judged. I had pieces that were re-written so many times I suspect it was just a way of avoiding sending them out.” – Erica Jong
  16. “Once you’ve done the mental work, there comes a point you have to throw yourself into action and put your heart on the line.” – Lakers basketball coach Phil Jackson
  17. “The faster I write, the better my output. If I’m going slow, I’m in trouble. It means I’m pushing the words instead of being pulled by them.” – Raymond Chandler
  18. “When you speak, your words echo across the room. When you write, your words echo across the ages.” – Chicken Soup for the Writers Soul author Bud Gardner
  19. “Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” – Carl Sandburg
  20. “I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” – Pearl S. Buck
  21.  “Planning to write is not writing.  Writing is writing.” – E. L. Doctorow
  22. “I think the worst, most insidious procrastination for me is research. I will be looking for some bit of fact to include in the novel, and before I know, I’ve wasted an entire morning delving into that subject matter without a word written.” – James Rollins
  23.  “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” – Pablo Picasso
  24. “There’s a trick I’m going to share with you.  I learned it almost twenty years ago and I’ve never forgotten it … so pay attention.  Don’t begin at the beginning.” – Lawrence Block
  25.  “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.  You wait and watch and work and write; you don’t give up.” -Anne Lamott
  26. “I write because I cannot fly, but words can, and when they land, worlds appear.” – Susan Zeder
  27. “If there’s a book you really want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” – Toni Morrison
  28. “A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” – Ruth Reed, (Sam Horn’s mom)

As you can tell, I love quotes.  Do you have a favorite you don’t see here?  If so, please share it below or email it to me at Sam@IntrigueAgency.com

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Sam Horn, Intrigue Expert, TEDx speaker and former Executive Director of the Maui Writers Conference,  is a communication strategist who helps people create one-of-a-kind projects – presentations, pitches, books and brands – that scale their impact for good.  Her work – including POP!, Tongue Fu!  and Washington Post bestseller Got Your Attention? – has been endorsed by Stephen Covey, Dan Pink, Tony Robbins and Marshall Goldsmith and featured in Fast Company, New York Times, Forbes, INC and BusinessWeek.

Can We REALLY Get People’s Attention in 60 Seconds?

hourglass

THAT’S ALL THE TIME YOU NEED TO GET TO YES. REALLY.

 

“No one wants to go out mid-sentence.”

 

And, as Johnny would surely agree, no one wants investors to nod off mid-sentence.

Investors have seen hundreds of pitches. They’ve been there, heard that. They decide in a couple minutes, max, whether you’re worth their valuable time, mind, and dime.

Are you requesting funding for your startup, new venture or product launch? Here’s how to have decision-makers at hello. First the example, then the technique.

One of my Springboard Enterprises clients (Springboard has helped entrepreneurs receive $6.2 billion in funding) approached me and said, “I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news.”

I asked, “What’s the good news?”

“I’ve been asked to pitch a roomful of investors at the Paley Center in New York City”

“That is good news. What’s the bad news?

“I am going at 2:30 in the afternoon and I only have 10 minutes. How am I supposed to explain my invention, clinical trials, business model, team credentials and exit strategy in 10 minutes?”

I said, “Actually, you don’t have 10 minutes. As you mentioned, you’re going at 2:30 in the afternoon. These investors will have already heard 16 presentations. You have 60 seconds to get their favorable attention.”

She said, “How is that possible?”

Here’s how. This is the 60-second opening we came up with. It not only helped Kathleen Callender of Pharma Jet receive funding and the Nokia Health Award; Businessweek also named her one of America’s Most Promising Social Entrepreneurs in 2010.

Did you know there are more than 1.8 billion vaccinations given every year?

Did you know up to half of those are given with reused needles?

Did you know we are spreading and perpetuating the very diseases we are trying to prevent?

Imagine if there were a painless, one-use needle available for a fraction of the current cost.

You don’t have to imagine it; we’ve created it. In fact, in this article . . . and she was off and running.

Do you want to know more? That means Kathleen just got her startup in your mental door.

Let’s put this in perspective. Before we crafted this opening, Kathleen started off with a lengthy explanation of her company’s “medical delivery device for subcutaneous inoculations.” Huh?

This new, more intriguing opening got eyebrows up and smartphones down in 60 seconds flat. Here’s how you can do the same.

1. START WITH 3 UNEXPECTED “DID YOU KNOW?’ QUESTIONS PERTINENT TO YOUR TOPIC.

What startling research can you introduce that would cause them to think, “Really?!”

What recent data could you reference that offers fresh insight into the problem you’re solving, the issue you’re addressing, the need you’re meeting?

What respected resource can you reference that shows a sudden shift in a trend, a dramatic increase in your target demographics, a relevant change in a regulation?

2. LINK THE WORD “IMAGINE” TO THREE ATTRIBUTES OF YOUR INNOVATIVE ANSWER TO THAT ISSUE, YOUR FIRST-OF-ITS-KIND PRODUCT THAT MEETS THAT NEED OR SOLVES THAT PROBLEM.

The word “Imagine” pulls people out of their preoccupation. Now they’re picturing what you’re saying. They’re fully engaged instead of checking their email.

What did Kathleen’s decision makers care about? Painful inoculations. Reused needles. Money. So we crafted her solution to a worldwide problem into, “Imagine if there were a painless, one-use needle for a fraction of the current cost.”

Condense the promise of what you’re proposing into a single succinct sentence that causes your decision makers to think, “Who wouldn’t want that?!”

3. BRIDGE WITH, “YOU DON’T HAVE TO IMAGINE IT, WE’VE CREATED IT . . .”

Now, introduce precedence or evidence to prove this isn’t pie in the sky or speculative; it’s a done deal and you’re the one to deliver it.

Or give a case study that demonstrates the validity of what you’ve done.

Or provide a testimonial from an industry expert who lends veracity to your claims.

Why does this “Did You Know” opening work so well?

Because the quickest way to engage seasoned decision makers is to introduce something they don’t know—but would like to know. They’re now smarter than they were a moment ago. They’re motivated to give you their undivided attention because you’ve just proven it’ll be worth their while. You’ve just nailed your pitch . . . a minute in.

This Article Originally Appeared in Fast Company

Sam Horn is on a mission to help entrepreneurs create more compelling presentations, pitches, and proposals. She is the founder and CEO of the Intrigue Agency, where she writes, speaks, and consults on strategic communications.

 

 

Do Your Emails Pass the 5-Sentence Test?

PulitElephantInTheRoomzer Prize winning humorist Gene Weingarten said, “Let’s address the elephant in the room.

‘YO Elephant!’”

Do you know what the elephant in the room in every business interaction is?
People wondering, “How long will this take?”

Anxiety is defined as “not knowing.”

If people don’t know how long we want their attention, they don’t pay attention.
They’re in a state of anxiety (perhaps even resentment) thinking, “Don’t you realize I’m busy? Don’t you understand you’re keeping me from working on other priorities? Hurry it up. I’ve got things to do.”

It’s like the famous New Yorker cartoon from Bob Mankoff. An executive is on the phone saying, “How about Tuesday. No? How about never? Is never good for you?”

From now on, if you want people to give you their precious attention, ask for a specific amount of their time, and pleasantly surprise them by asking for less time than expected.

I show how to do this in Chapter 10 of my new book, Got Your Attention? The chapter is titled, “Keep it Brief or They’ll Give You Grief.”

http://www.amazon.com/Got-Your-Attention-Intrigue-Connect/dp/1626562504/

Here’s just one tip. Do you know about 5 Sentence Email?

Check them out at http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/226581

They have a cut-and-paste statement you can include in your signature line to explain your policy of sending short emails, and its advantages for all parties involved.

Think about how much time this could save you and the people who receive your emails.

The average business worker sends 43 emails a day and receives 130, so keeping your emails to 5 sentences can cut down the amount of time you spend on them, and can make a huge difference in whether recipients choose to read them.

Worried you won’t be able to say everything you need to say in 5 sentences?

Guy Kawasaki, a big proponent of short emails, says “Proper email is a balance of politeness and succinctness.”

If you would like to combine courtesy and efficiency, he suggests you provide just enough information to answer these five questions:

  • Who are you?
  • What do you want?
  • Why are you asking me?
  • Why should I do with what you’re asking me?
  • What is the next step?

You’ve heard of Parkinson’s Law? “A task expands to the time allowed for it?”

Horn’s Law is, ‘Communications expand to the time and space allowed for them.”

From now on, give yourself a time and space deadline for your emails, and let people know up front you’re going to keep it short.

You’ll find they’re much more likely to give you their valuable time, mind and dime.

How Can I Motivate People to Pay Attention to Me?

 

Thundershirt

 

“Let’s address the elephant in the room. ‘YO Elephant!’” – humorist Gene Weingarten

An executive hired me to help him with his habit of “over-talking.” He knew it was undermining his impact and wanted to learn to be more concise so people would give him their attention.

I asked him, “Do you know what the elephant in the room in every interaction is?”

“No, what?”

“How long will this take?”

“I know it’s important to get to the point. I just don’t know how to do that.”

I knew, as an engineer, he would respect metrics, so I said, “Force yourself to get to the point by assigning metrics to your business interactions from now on. Think about it. Twitter is 140 characters. Not 151. The message won’t send if it’s too long. Snapchat is 8 seconds. TED talks are 18 minutes. People are a lot more likely to give you their time if you only ask for a little of it. How about your meetings? Do they have a time limit?”

“Not really. We take however long we need to get through our agenda.”

“Uh oh. You’ve heard of Parkinson’s Law: a task expands to the time allowed for it?

Horn’s Law is, ‘Communication expands to the time allowed for it.’ From now on, everyone in meetings, including you, has three minutes max to report out on each issue.”

While discussing this, a rather impressive storm moved into our area. As soon as lightning flashed, my dog Murphy started pacing and panting. I told my client, “Excuse me, I need to put a Thunder-Shirt on Murphy. She gets panicked by these storms.”

He watched me Velcro Murph into her Thunder-Shirt and asked, “How does that work?”

“Well, it’s like swaddling a baby. Infants feel insecure when they flail around because they feel like they’re falling. As soon as you wrap them snugly in a blanket, they feel safe because their world is now finite. It works the same way with Murphy. As soon as she’s swaddled in a Thunder-Shirt, she calms down because she feels contained.”

My client started laughing and said, “Sam, that’s what we’re doing. We’re putting a Thunder-Shirt on my interactions. We’re swaddling my communication.”

T.S. Elliott said, “When forced to work within a tight framework, the imagination is taxed to produce its richest ideas. Given total freedom, the work is likely to sprawl.”

T.S. Elliott is right. If your interaction is “sprawling all over the place,” it needs a tighter framework. Interrupt and assign a snug timeline that forces everyone to speak more succinctly and purposefully.

Assigning clear start-and-finish time boundaries is a win for everyone. An association exec told me, “I think I know why we’ve had trouble getting volunteers for our committees. Busy people don’t want to agree to something when they have no idea how much time they’re committing.

We’re going to put a Thunder-Shirt on our committee meetings and promise there will only be one a month, (except for the month before our convention). We’ll let our busy volunteers know they can trust us to keep meetings to 90 minutes max, that we’ll start and end on time, and everyone will be limited to 3 minute reports. I’m confident more members will get involved if they know exactly what they’re signing up for, up front.”

How about you? Would putting a Thunder-Shirt on your interactions help people stay focused and get to the point, faster? Why not give it try?

 

[photo via Flickr User Maja Dumat // Creative Commons]