Years ago, living on Maui, I felt torn between two worlds. I had my two sons who I loved and wanted to be with AND had a thriving speaking business that kept me on the road.
At a National Speakers Association convention, I ran into a long-time friend. She asked, “Sam, how are you?”
I started telling her and before I could finish, she interrupted me and said, “No Sam, tell me in ONE WORD how you’re doing.”
Wow, what a great question. It helped me distill everything I was feeling into one phrase. I dug deep, opened my mouth, and out came “I’m feeling… conflicted.”
Her eyebrows flew up. “Conflicted? How so?”
“Yesterday I was on Keawakapu Beach with Tom and Andrew at golden hour. They were charging into the surf with their boogie boards, riding the waves all the way in until they scraped their bellies on the beach. I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
Today, I’m here at this conference surrounded by smart, talented peers, I’m learning new things, speaking on my favorite topic, and I’m humming with energy.
I feel like I’m constantly torn between two worlds.”
My friend looked at me and said, “Sam, the words you use to describe your experience – define your experience. You better come up with another word to describe how you feel, because that’s how it’s going to be.”
That night I couldn’t sleep. I kept mentally testing words, experimenting with them to see if they captured the mix of emotions I felt. Finally it came to me.
The next day I ran up to my friend and said, “I figured it out. I’m not conflicted, I’m… BLESSED. I’m not torn between two worlds, I have the best of both worlds.”
On this day of Thanks-giving, I hope you’ll soak in the best of your worlds.
And next time you’re feeling torn between two options – try to re-frame what you’re feeling or facing. Isn’t it an advantage to have an abundance of options? Perhaps you’re not conflicted after all, you’re simply, blessed.
- Is there something that you’re feeling or facing today that you want to reframe in order to better serve you?
- Grab a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page.
- On the left side, write how you’re feeling.
- On the right side, brainstorm words that re-frame that feeling into something more in alignment with how you WANT to feel.
- Once you find something that fits – each time you find yourself thinking that you’re “conflicted” – catch yourself and change it in your mind to your new, better feeling word (i.e. “blessed.”)
I would LOVE to hear what words you come up with – feel free to reply here or comment below. 🙂
Here’s to being better.