While doing interviews for my Talking on Eggshells book, this story stood out.
“I let a friend use my lake cottage, for free. When I arrived the next weekend, I couldn’t believe what a mess he left! I’m so angry that I’m not sure I’ll ever talk to him again.”
When someone takes advantage of our kindness, it’s important to address it instead of simmering in silence.
After all, anger is our original warning system letting us know a line has been crossed.
The thing is, some people have been intellectualized OUT of their anger. Somewhere along the line they were taught anger is an “unenlightened emotion.”
What I’ve come to understand is that there are times when expressing our anger is not only appropriate – it’s imperative!
The good news is, there are ways to express our anger responsibly rather than reactively.
Get some helpful tips in our ACTION below.
ACTION
- Reflect on how you “normally” handle anger?
- Deny it. (I am not angry.”)
Pretend it doesn’t exist. (It doesn’t bother me.”)
Excuse it. (He didn’t mean to be mean.”)
Dismiss it. (There’s no reason to get upset.”)
Dwell on it. (I can’t stop thinking about it.”)
Brush it off. (They’re just having a bad day.”)
Stuff it. (I think I’ll eat some ice cream.”)
Sedate it. (Make that drink a double.”)
Next, download my free A.N.G.E.R. Method infographic for some helpful tips to express your anger in a proactive (instead of reactive) way.
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