The Dreaded 5%er – The Better Newsletter #37

Are you dealing with someone who repeatedly puts people down? Who blames everyone else for what goes wrong? 

Have you tried everything with this person – active listening, appealing to reason, letting them vent, putting yourself in their shoes – and nothing works? 

Chances are you’re dealing with a bully – or what I call a 5%er.

5%er’s will not change their behavior because… it’s working! 

I spoke on this topic as part of my Talking on Eggshells program at the NAWBO – National Association of Women Business Owners – convention. 

When participants took my Bully quiz, they were surprised to see a particularly challenging person in their life had a pattern of inappropriate behavior

What was even more surprising was they realized this pattern was intentional (not occasional or accidental) and their best characteristics – fairness, kindness, empathy – were being used against them by the 5%er.

Owning our behavior is a wonderful quality – but it backfires with bullies.

Do you have someone who “belittles” you? 

If so, I hope the quick tips in the actions below give you the clarity and confidence to pro-actively re-claim and re-create the quality of life you want, need and deserve.


  • Click here to take our “Bully quiz” and find out if you’re dealing with a dreaded 5%er.

  • Then watch the video under the result area for tips on what to do and say to deal with a bully.

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  • Want to Share Your Story/Suggestion With Sam Horn?

    Do you have a real-life example you'd like to share of how you deal with difficult people - without becoming one yourself? A story of how you've learned to think on your feet and handle challenging situations in the moment? I'd love to hear it, along with any other sensitive, stressful situations you suggest I include in my work on Talking on Eggshells? With your permission, we may share it with readers and audiences so they can benefit from your insights and lessons-learned.
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