A participant at a recent workshop asked, “How can I stop worrying about things I have no control over?”
I said, “The way to change your thoughts is to do a pattern interrupt.”
You may not be able to control the thoughts that come into your head; you can control whether you dwell on unhealthy thoughts or whether you switch your attention to thoughts that serve you rather than sabotage you.
She said, “I agree with that in theory, but it’s hard to do in practice. “
I said, “Understood. If there’s something you can do about what’s bothering you, by all means, do it! But if you’re thinking about things you can’t control, that’s a misuse of your MindTime because it isn’t serving any good purpose.”
“What’s MindTime?“
“It’s a concept I came up with for my ConZentrate book.
When we focus on something, we’re not just giving it our attention, we’re giving it our time. As some say, “Where attention goes, energy flows.” That is MindTime!
“But how can I do that, I can’t just stop thinking about all that is going wrong.”
The key is to SWITCH – not STOP.
Acknowledge the thought, then decide to switch your focus from the internal (what’s going on in your head) to the external by looking at what’s around you and expressing gratitude for what’s RIGHT in your world – right here, right now.
ACTION
Grab your journal and draw a vertical line down the center.
On the left, write down anything you’re spending your MindTime on.
Look at your list and mark the things you are conZENtrating on that you CAN’T control.
On the right side, reframe those into a more empowering thought.
For example,
“I’m worried it will rain on the day of our garage sale.” (CAN’T control)Reframe to “If it rains, we can extend the sale to the day after or simply postpone it and that will be ok.” (CAN control)
