ANECDOTE
Years ago, I was reading to my sons and while I was sitting right next to them, my mind was a million miles away.
I was flying out the next morning to give a workshop and was worrying, “Did I pack my handouts? Is there gas in the car? What time is my plane?”
Just then, my mind focused on Tom and Andrew and it was as if I was seeing them for the very first time. An ordinary moment became extraordinary and I was filled with gratitude for what a blessing it was to be their mom.
My worries switched from worry to wonder in a second.
How about you… Are you upset about something? Worrying about something? Regretting something?
When we focus on something, we’re not just giving it our attention, we’re giving it our time. We can’t control what happens to us – we CAN control how we frame what happens to us.
You may be thinking, “That’s great, but I can’t just stop thinking about all the things that are wrong.”
You’re right! The key is to SWITCH instead of STOP.
The more you tell yourself to STOP thinking about what’s bothering you, the more you’re thinking about what’s bothering you.
Instead, do a pattern interrupt and SWITCH your focus from the internal (what’s going on in your head) to the external by looking at what’s around you and truly seeing it – as if for the first (or last) time.
ACTION
- Go for a walk. Take a break. Call a friend. Play with your kids or your dog (or your neighbor’s dog.) Work in a different room or at a coffee shop. Really focus on what’s right and try to see things as if for the first time.
- If a change of scenery doesn’t help… try this!
- Grab a piece of paper & draw 2 vertical lines to make 3 columns.
- On the left side write down everything you’re worrying about right now… each thought on a separate line.
- In the middle column decide if that is something in your control or out of your control and then write IN or OUT in that column.
- For every thought that you wrote OUT on, write down a better feeling thought that you want to SWITCH to in the right column.
- TIP: Make the new thought better and also believable… because if it feels too far off, you may feel like you’re just lying to yourself.
- Example:
- Left: I’m worried about a test result from my doctor.
- Center: OUT
- Right: No matter what happens, I am so grateful to have the support of my friends and family to help me through anything.
- BONUS: Pick up your phone and text or call them 🙂
- TIP: It’s important to do this exercise IRL (in real life) not on your phone – because even the act of writing it gets those thoughts out of your head and helps diffuse them – which can make it easier for your brain to SWITCH to the better feeling thought.
Until next time… Here’s to being better.
Sam Horn