I had the privilege of managing programs for tennis champion Rod Laver on Hilton Head Island, SC, right out of college.

We finished one of our national tennis camps, and as a reward for my hard work, Rocket asked if I’d like to hit for a bit.

Would I?! Rocket made me work for every point, running me from side to side. Finally, he hit a weak lob, and I had my chance. If I just put this overhead away, I’d take a point off Rocket.

In my eagerness, I committed the cardinal sin of overheads. I looked where I was going to place the ball instead of keeping my eyes on the ball.

Well, I didn’t just mishit it, I took a mighty whiff and missed it altogether.

I lost my cool and started shoulding all over myself, “I should have kept my head up. I should have kept my eyes on the ball. I know better than that…”

Rocket, known for his sportsmanship, let me vent for a moment, then beckoned me over to the net and said, “Sam, champions never use the word should. The second they make a mistake, they’re already focused on how to do it right next time.”

Thank you, Rocket, for teaching me that the word should serves no good purpose.

If we make a mistake, it’s more helpful to use words like “Next time, in the future, or from now on” so we’re shaping our performance instead of shaming it.

Being a FORCE FOR GOOD leader means turning mistakes into stepping stones to success by suggesting instead of shoulding. Everyone will thank you for it.